MANXIES! The snow is on its way and the Met Office is going bonkers. The weather warning has been upgraded to “Amber”, so if you hear 7 short blasts followed by 1 long blast, run for cover and hide from society for the next three days. Or alternatively, just get on with your lives as normal, we guess.Either way, there will be some of us who love the snow and some who’ll curse at everything and everyone for the next few days. So we’ve listed some things you are likely to hear over the next couple of days:

Things you hear on the Isle of Man during a Snow Day

#1 “Have you seen the mountain – it’s well snowy up there?! Even the webcams have stopped working” *7 users logged in at once*#2 OMG it might actually stick…… ow, no, classic IOM snow.#3 “Wonder if work will let us go home early?” Don’t be stupid Janet, back to work.#4 “School has to be shut in the morning – the buses can’t drive in this non sticking snow!” <tag someone you know who would say this>#5 “It’s F*cking Freezing bay.”#6 “But are the schools open”?#7 “I love the snow for a day… but then it truly just p!sses me ryt off”#8 “Christ bah it’s cald oot thur today!”#9 ‘Deirdre darling, have you seen my skis?!’#10 “Awww bless him, he thinks he’s hard cos he has shorts on, must be from the north”#11 “I can’t believe how dead the roads are!” – “Well yea, there is small chance of snow Juan!”#12 “Is maccies still open?”#13 “WTF MACCIES IS SHUT!”#14 “That’s not where the snowman’s nose goes Mona!”#15 “In myyyyyy day we still went to school, come rain or shine!”#16 “I’m going to the pub love”#17 “Any update on the schools?”#18 “Hello there, I decided to leave it until today to let my oil tank run empty, so can you please come and fill it immediately, and don’t think I’m paying any call out fees just because it’s snowing, thank you”#19 “Finally I get to use the tyre chains for my ford mondeo…’but there’s no sn-’… FINALLY”#20 “I only passed my test 3 weeks ago but I feel today is the day to go out and practice taking tight corners at 60mph”#21 “Hey lads it’s well icy over here!” *Frantically runs and slides on ice just to make sure* “hahaha – well icy that fella” *moves on to pub*#22 “The WiFi has stopped working Barbara!” “Must be the snow!”#23 Hello employees, out of good gesture we will let all employees leave early today. So pack up at 4.50pm and miss the chaos on the road – Regards, your oh so thoughtful Boss 😉#24 “The tele has stopped working” – “Must be the snow…”#25 “I knew it wouldn’t stick, I said it first” <tag someone you know who would say this>

 After 3 days of snowspectations. THERE IS NO SNOW.

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