An open letter to Guernsey

Dear Guernsey,

It would appear we’ve both made it through to the other side, the much brighter ‘grass is greener’ side. Our mighty leaders have been in cahoots and have opened up a tunnel in which we can both pass across the air bridge to one another.

Like most on our island, I haven’t been to Guernsey and we’re all a little bit sceptical as we’ve been in our respective ‘cells’ for some time now, so we ask, WHO are the Guernsey massive? Do you have a dress code? Do you speak English? Is the weather REALLY that much nicer than the UK? Also, do you have a KFC? (asking for a mate)

I thought I should maybe introduce you to our Island, you know let’s play this as if we were on a well-known dating app, before you swipe left, listen to what we have to offer.

  1. Dark Sky Sites (oh wait, you have that too)

  2. Amazing Beaches (yep, you have them too)

  3. Array of Culture & Heritage (seems you have that too) 

We have an vast selection of local B&B and boutiques on the Isle of Man, and our Visit Government has been quite vocal at promoting tourism over the last few years, so I’d say we’re quite a tech-savvy island when it comes to marketing, check out their website, it shows us off nicely.

Things to do

If you like 2-wheeled activity, then we’re your Island… usually at 200mph we have the TT (RIP 2020) and our tourism industry relies heavily on this every year, so we’re a little worried about that, (bring on the vaccine) but we have a large cycling community. Both mountain and road biking is popular here, and you can bask in the Island’s trails, plantations and coastal paths in as little or large chunks as you wish!

Taxis are hella expensive, but hey, you’re on holiday…


This is a tricky one, but it seems over the last 2 years we have welcomed some larger UK companies such as PC World, Flannels, Sports Direct, Starbucks etc. 


Hotels galore but our B&B and staycation market is booming, Airbnb is also growing quickly with lots of cottages, private homes, and rooms that you can book from £50 (we also recently got a Premier Inn, check us out!)

Food & Drink

For an island of 84,000 people, I think we have lots to choose from, not just in the dine-in market, but also in food production. If you like gin, we gotcha! The guys at Fynoderee have whipped up a variety of seasonal gins for you to smuggle back in your hold bag to Guernsey, and once you’re hooked they will even post it to you… Oh, they also helped us out with hand sanitiser when it became rarer and more expensive than liquid gold back in the ‘rona days.

We have places like Filbeys, 14 North, Cycle 360, NOA Bakehouse; all celebrating local produce and promoting our Isle, and if you’re brave enough to head south, we have a beautiful distillery called Foraging Vintners (they make sparkling wines, rum and much more!)


[loading] – much like yours, it’s taken a bit of a hit, so here’s the deal… we’ll come visit you, if you come back to see us! 

How to get here

I think you guys hold the bat on this one, a local airline whose name escapes me, not sure how you pronounce it either, but hey… we haven’t got our own airline to compare it to, so I shouldn’t be so smug! Aurigny? (or ig nee) who knows… anyway it seems for the moment we’re only allowed to have Wednesday and Sunday flights which is a shame, as I’m sure there are a few more planes not doing much out there, a weekend vacay would be nice for the working population!

This letter started out as a list of things to do in the Isle of Man, but then I realised, we’re so consumed with incredible things around us that we take them for granted, and whilst a trip off the Island is tempting, when stranded here, we’ve started to explore these hidden gems and think they’re something to shout about. In fact, we’ve been using the hashtag #manxgem when sharing pics of these if you wanna check ‘em on out Insta.

One last thing…

We seem to have a thing for roadworks, and honest, we’re not sure what to think either, but please ignore the fencing, digging, JCBs and workmen excavating our Victorian promenade that may or may not include horse trams once finished in 2031.

(we also recommend taking the bus or cycling if travelling along Glencrutchery Rd for a much quicker route into Douglas)

Over to you! Entice us Manxies…

2 thoughts on “An open letter to Guernsey”

  1. Hi Alex
    IOM is lovely having been there once. What have we got in Guernsey?
    Well first off we are known as Guernsey Donkeys because apparently we are stubborn – don’t know about that – I prefer ‘assertive’
    You may note when speaking to ‘Guerns’ that we tend to say eh at the end of most of our sentences. What’s that about eh?
    We have beautiful beaches, cliff walks and green lanes.
    If you are interested in WW2 history we have plenty of that given that we were occupied between 1940 and 1945. We celebrate our liberation day on 9th May because that’s when the stubborn Guernsey donkeys kicked the Germans out – well OK the British landing force may have assisted a bit….
    We are part of a Bailiwick which is made up of Guernsey, Alderney, Herm and Sark. There are also Jethou and Brecqhou which are privately owned.
    Boat trips to Herm and Sark are very popular. Sark is like stepping back in time.
    We have loads of pubs and restaurants. One of the popular treats is sitting at the Rockmount Pub with a pint or chips on Cobo beach watching the sunset.
    We would love to see you. We really are quite friendly – oh and we have local gin too – and rum beer and cider too.
    Please visit soon 😀

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