BAD NEWS: 2020 has been a shocker of a year.
GOOD NEWS: it’s been great inspo for some cracking hop-tu-naa costumes.
We’ve rounded up a selection of the hottest hop-tu-naa costumes for this year.
Hot in spring 2020: business on the top (for those endless zoom calls), trackies on the bottom. Hair: brushed at the front, longtail’s nest at the back. Top off the look with a pair of slipper socks and sliders and a palpable sense of stir craziness.
Eye test/Barnard Castle
In pre-covid times, eye tests meant reading out from a board of random letters. However, Dom Cummings, the chief advisor to Boris, taught us that it was an archaic means of testing, and that the most effective way to test our eyesight is to drive to County Durham’s hottest market town.
The source of many a lockdown pound (or stone), banana bread took lockdown by storm. Terrify your gym buddy friends by reminding them that some of us didn’t follow Joe Wicks while stuck at home.
Remember when the production of hand sanitiser was prioritised over the production of gin? Dark times.
Remember the great pasta shortage? While it didn’t bother the keto heads, us carb lovers really suffered as we tried to grab packets of fettuccine and farfalle. Bring out those old Art Attack skills, and stick some pasta to an outfit. If you get hungry through the night, you can pick it off and boil it.*
“This is my hop-tu-naa costume” t-shirt
Lazy? Grab a t-shirt from the Gef the Mongoose hop-tu-naa collection and call it a day.
In pre-rona times, bog roll was used as a last minute mummy costume. Now, you can cut out actually making a costume and just come as the bog roll itself. With Brexit and a second wave of rona on the way, the threat of unwiped arses is utterly terrifying.
The word “unprecedented”
This year, the word “unprecedented” was never followed by “number of pay rises” or “number of fit lads in my dms”. Sick of it tbh x
Trump and disinfectant injections
The big man in charge of one of the most powerful countries in the world actually suggested that corona might be cured by injecting disinfectant. Cool, cool, cool.
Couples costume: Howie and Ashy
The Britney and Justin of 2020 x
Joe Exotic and Carol Baskin
Was Tiger King actually good or were we so desperate for entertainment over lockdown that we just consumed anything that was coming out? Either way, bring back those lockdown mems by dressing up as two of the biggest crackheads on the planet.
Bag of eggs
In September, Morrison’s were spotted selling bags of “5” wet eggs in their meal deals. Potentially the most horrific thing of the year, the costume will be loved by protein heads, hated by everyone else.
Villain of the year. Cruella de Vil could never.
*Not actually recommended