Funny story: I have a very specific fantasy of playing God, and determining who gets into heaven, and who will face eternal damnation. I’m not convinced I’ll ever get to live out my fantasy, so here’s my naughty and nice list instead.
Five welders from Donny
Yeah lads, we all love a meal deal, but putting the nation at risk?
The Angry Yorkshireman
While I do admire someone who stands up for what he thinks is right, did you have to accuse us all of being inbred? Fake news mate, it’s only the people from Foxdale. There will be no tea or puddings in your sack.
Look at the state of the UK, mate. You deserve nothing.
Between Barnard Castle and being a grade-A tw*t, Dominic will only be getting coal in his sack.
Our lovesick jet-skier is absolutely on the naughty list- which is fine, because Father Christmas probably doesn’t visit Jurby anyway.
David Ashford’s Shredder
We’ll never know if that letter was written in Ashy’s handwriting.
Mate. Stop escaping. You’ve got it made and you don’t even need to pay rent. YOU’VE GOT IT MADE.
Isle of Man Constabulary Road Policing’s Elf on a Shelf
IoM Police have been recording the actions of a certain elf who has been a very bad boy. The fella has been drink-driving, been interviewed and has been charged. There hasn’t been any update on whether the elf has had a cavity search, though.
An actual real life bond villain.
JUST A LITTLE LEGEND.
A SLIGHTLY LARGER LEGEND.
The nation’s grandad who is just trying to save the world. Also potentially actually Father Christmas? It wouldn’t surprise us.
You’re all doing amazing, sweeties x
AKA Squirrel Dan. A sustainable icon. Here’s hoping you get your land for Christmas
Brought us the new pronunciation of ‘meecrowahve’. Icon.
Did a bang up job of keeping Covid out of New Zealand. Fair play.
Who knew that a footballer would be the most effective opponent against child hunger?
Little Miss Dynamite
The real Queen tbh.