Manx people love it when we appear on reality TV. Seeing ourselves represented on the big screen- ideally by people who are fitter than the general population- is a true thrill. It’ll even get in the local papers- front page if the news is slow enough. What would be better, then, than our own reality shows? Here’s a few pitches that I will be sending to all the TV giants.
Selling Sunset City
Netflix’s Selling Sunset got everyone talking last year. Featuring a cast of estate agents who have ‘model/influencer’ in their email signatures, the show gave us a taste of a luxurious life in Los Angeles. Selling Sunset City would be a similar premise, but based in our own Sunset City. Our estate agents wouldn’t quite be ex-Playboy models, but instead the infinitely more charming Peel Girls. Office dramas would feature fewer sly comments, and a lot more scraps outside a chippy. The houses would have fewer pools and glass panels and almost definitely have smaller square footage, but somehow be the same price as a massive pad in the US.
Real Housewives of the Isle of Man
The latest spin-off has landed! The Real Housewives of the Isle of Man will feature all the women who live here for tax reasons. They wear head-to-toe flannels, only to have to rub shoulders with mere commoners when they have to run into Marksies for a loaf of bread. They live in obscure parts of the island, like Regaby, where they have pools and horses and helicopter pads. You’ll watch it from Douglas and wonder how it is the same island.
Instead of the Geordie Shore house, it’s the Jurby Hilton. ITV KIND of did a version, but how much better would it have been with a few straight-to-camera confessionals here and there?
Come Glen Vine with Me
Just a really dull version of Come Dine with Me. Sponsored by Marown Electricals.
Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares
A Ramsey Kitchen Nightmare: ruining Sunday dinner after all the shops have closed for the evening. Engaging stuff? Probably not. Relatable? Absolutely.
Like Love Island, but on the Isle of Man (getting the concept behind this article, yet?). If we manage to film in July, the weather might be above 13 degrees, meaning the lads will be topless like on the real Love Island. A sight for sore eyes. It’ll be packed with drama from the very beginning. Inevitably, being in the Isle of Man,
Don’t tell Bride
A show where we isolate Bride from the outside world so they don’t know what’s going on. This is less of a TV concept and more of a reality for the people of Bride, tbh x
I’m on a jet-ski, get me out of here
Sick of the jet-ski story? Too bad, it’s literally the most exciting thing to have happened on/near/around the island in the last decade. Inspired by the love story of the age, this would be a cross between Hunted and I’m a celeb, with a little bit of Love Island to spice things up. The mission would be to leave the UK on a jet-ski, walk from Ramsey to Douglas, and not get caught in the process.
Am I clutching for straws here? Yes. But essentially, we put a load of teens in charge of the prom refurb and see whether they manage to do a decent job.