AQUARIUS (JAN 20 – FEB 18) 

Being late is a really endearing trait that definitely isn’t annoying everyone this week x

PISCES (FEB 19- MAR 20) 

There’s a pandemic, the world is both simultaneously flooding and on fire (but somehow not cancelling each other out) and Love Island isn’t even that good this year. Why sweat the small stuff when the world is literally collapsing?

ARIES (MAR 21- APR 19) 

You’re incredibly irritable this week. What a treat for everyone around you x

TAURUS (APR 20- MAY 20) 

A flirty energy will surround you this week, Taurus. You won’t like it.

GEMINI (MAY 21- JUN 21) 

You can’t always be the prettiest, funniest or smartest person in the room. But as a Gemini, you can always be slyest. Take this into consideration this week, Gemini. 

CANCER (JUN 22 – JUL  22) 

Unless you’re J-Lo (which you’re not, because she’s a Leo), getting back with your ex is not a good look.

LEO (JUL 23 – AUG 22) 

Looking for a new opportunity? You’ve missed the boat mate.

VIRGO (AUG 23- SEPT 22) 

Taking shortcuts is only bad if you’re paid hourly.

LIBRA (SEPT 23- OCT 22) 

Feeling disappointed this week? Now you know how your mother feels, constantly.

SCORPIO (OCT 23-NOV 22) 

Bored? Have a baby.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV 23 – DEC 21) 

Searching for the one? Hate to break it to you, but they probably won’t be found at 2:30am in the Outback smoking area.

CAPRICORN  (DEC 22- JAN 19) 

If you’re desperate for a change, why wait? Take your life into your own hands and make the change. Shave your head, quit your job, get a tattoo. You’re in control.

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