Spare a thought for our local 18 year olds. Their last TT was in 2019, when they were merely 15 years old. Still children, their TT probably involved revision for their GCSES and going on the big rides at the fair. They had not even yet had the joy of getting paralytic in a field during after-prom. Bless.
Look at them now. All grown-up and adults (well, legally), they’ve gone straight to an adult TT, without some of the lessons learned on the way. At Gef, we’re all about decorum (obvs), so we’ve compiled a list of how not to be a dick on your first TT (as an adult).
Don’t go out the night before your last A-Level exam
It is deeply insensitive that English exam boards don’t understand the cultural importance of TT (and the impracticalities of getting to the other side of the course) but that is life. This is particularly frustrating if you’re desperate to enjoy TT, but your A-Levels come first. TT FOMO is bad, Freshers FOMO is worse.
Leave your underage friends at home (or get them an orange juice)
You’re at TT, surrounded by all your mates. Well, almost all of them: the summer babies are missing, because they haven’t hit 18 yet.
Look, some would argue that this is a great excuse not to invite the cry baby cancers, two faced geminis and leos (the worst) out. But maybe you’re nice, inclusive.
I hate to be a wet wipe, but please don’t get your underage friends drunk in a licensed premise. It might seem the biggest risk is getting caught, but the risk of accidentally serving someone underage is huge for a venue. Bit shite for a venue to be penalised because your mates couldn’t do their underage drinking at a house party, isn’t it?*
*obvs I’d never encourage that
Be sun smart
God, I feel so old saying this, but if we’re lucky enough to get a hot TT, be careful spending all day in the sun. No one wants to end up in Nobles because they’re dehydrated from being on the cans- nor do you want that drumstick look. Pop on a hat and a bit of sunscreen, and maybe have a bottle of water every so often between pints.
Patience is a virtue
Speaking of going out, TT is the busiest time of the year for our hospitality businesses. Simple etiquette: don’t get pissy if it takes a little longer to be served. Try and be as courteous as possible: putting in a shift during TT is hard work so a little tip goes a long way to the staff who keep us hydrated.
Don’t drive like a dick
Oh to be a teenager with a car and a licence. While you probably think you’re the best driver ever (only six minors? Sick), the TT roads are something different. They’re filled with bikers, many of them extremely excited to go on the course and find out exactly how fast their bikes can go. It’s probably best to try and not drive during practice and TT week- take it as the opportunity to not be the designated driver.
Safe sex is sexy
No one wants to be the first Manx case of super-gonorrhea. Nor do you want to have to tell your Mum that you’re not going to uni in September because you were knocked up by a German biker named Hans and you think the baby is a good way to get an EU passport. Pop a few Durex in your bag, just in case the bikers get another kind of ride on this TT.
Text your Mum
Sorry to move so quickly from sex to your Mum, but she’s sure to worry on your first TT. While you might only be down the road, your Mum is going to worry if it’s been 24 hours and you’ve not come home because you’ve found yourself at an afters in someone’s tent. Give her the heads up that you’re still alive and breathing.
Your first TT is going to be class. Just remember not to be a dickhead, and everyone will have a good time. Got it?