Mystic Chess Horoscopes 09/08

AQUARIUS (JAN 20 – FEB 18) 

Life is all about perspective. For me, a positive pregnancy test would be a disaster. For you? Perhaps not. It’s all about interpretation. Making positives out of negatives (or positives?)

PISCES (FEB 19- MAR 20) 

Focus on self-care today. If that means eating exclusively pizza, that’s what you’ve got to do.

ARIES (MAR 21- APR 19) 

If you find you’re spending too much of your own money, spend someone else’s.

TAURUS (APR 20- MAY 20) 

It’s absolutely true: I accept gifts in return for good horoscopes. You’ll have the best week this week, Taurus and you’re beautiful and I fancy you. 

GEMINI (MAY 21- JUN 21) 

An unexpected friendship may emerge this week. It’s unexpected because no one expects Geminis to make friends.

CANCER (JUN 22 – JUL  22) 

Because you’re a cry baby, I’m giving you a warning to get your tissues ready because a BIG change is coming. 

LEO (JUL 23 – AUG 22) 

Retail therapy costs money but so does real therapy. At the end of the day, only one of them will result in a pair of new shoes. Choose wisely.

VIRGO (AUG 23- SEPT 22) 

Have you checked your spam folder recently? Goodies may lay inside, like an email from a Nigerian Prince. 

LIBRA (SEPT 23- OCT 22) 

Remember that the good things in life are always difficult. Like trying to return an ASOS parcel. 

SCORPIO (OCT 23-NOV 22) 

Your fight or flight response may be triggered this week. Remember that no one likes a wimp.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV 23 – DEC 21)

You’ve got to appreciate what you’ve got, unless what you’ve got is Covid.

CAPRICORN  (DEC 22- JAN 19) 

You love the sound of your own voice. This week, try something new and listen to someone else.