Woman loses £70,000 in online romance scam

It’s February. The most vomit-inducing, romantic month of the year. While others prance by gaily, holding hands, and staring into the depths of each other’s souls after some rigorously noisy bonking, you find yourself alone, eating both halves of an M&S Dine in for Two, while binge watching Love Island, feeling as lonely as the Tower of Refuge. Tired of making up scenarios in your head of bumping into a gorgeous stranger who ends up being the love of your life you decide to take more tangible action. But the jumper you’re wearing has garlic sauce down it from the M&S chicken kiev you inhaled 4 minutes ago, so you can’t leave the house. Instead, you go online and delve into the world of dating sites.

Before long, you’ve connected with someone in record-speed. It must be your thought provoking bio about whether pineapple belongs on pizza. The person you’re talking to seems perfect. Good-looking, friendly, funny, they use the correct versions of there, their, and they’re, it all feels quite exciting. Then they message saying they’re in some sort of trouble and need you to send them money. They seem panicked but you haven’t actually met them in person yet so you’re a bit hesitant about sending money. You tell them this and they get annoyed. Now you feel guilty for not helping them in their time of need. They tell you they love you, want to marry you, and make you promises for the future. You can’t just not help them, not after the connection you’ve built together. This could be the love of your life and they’ve said they’d pay you back straight away. So you send them the money. They ask for more. So you send them more. This continues. Until, eventually, the conversation stops and you never hear from them again. You’re left confused, broken-hearted, and down a load of money.

This is called Romance Fraud.

The online dating scene is ever-growing and has surpassed the Outback on a Saturday night as one of the most common ways to meet a romantic partner. Unfortunately, it’s also a perfect playground for scammers to create fake profiles. The main goal of a romance fraudster is to manipulate innocent people online through coercion. They do this by creating crisis stories to pull on people’s heartstrings to dupe people into sending them financial aid.

The effects can be financially, emotionally, and psychologically devastating. Even more so than the Outback on a Saturday night. Romance fraud can happen to anyone regardless of sexuality, gender identity, or age.

Here are a few cautionary tales and very real examples:

Ms X visited her local Branch multiple times to make international payments in support of a charity purchasing clothes for villagers affected by a recent earthquake that had been on the news.

When making these transactions Ms X looked uncomfortable, anxious, the payments were unusual and the reason for the payments didn’t feel right, so the Branch staff spoke to Ms X.

A very upset Ms X eventually explained to the Branch staff that she was actually sending money to her ‘fiancée’ who was stationed in Syria.

Ms X revealed she’d never actually met her fiancée face to face. She met him online through a Dating App, where he told her he was a soldier in the US Army. They conversed further through WhatsApp messages only as he refused to answer FaceTime calls, blaming a poor internet connection as the reason. He told Ms X he needed money because there was a problem with his bank in America and suggested the charity explanation for Ms X to use as a way to minimise the inevitable questioning the Bank staff would have.

The three payments Ms X made to her “fiancée” amounted to USD $4,450 and £2,000. Ultimately, she realised she’d been fooled into believing she was in a genuine relationship when in fact she was being scammed.

Scammers don’t only target people romantically, they’ll try to seduce anyone into sending them money. According to the Cyber Security Centre for the Isle of Man, £850,000 was lost to online scammers in 2023. EIGHTY HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND POUNDS. Do you know how many M&S Dine in for Two meals you could buy with that?! At least… 86 probably.

Elsewhere, in another dingy corner of the world wide web, a 55-year-old woman was duped into sending money to her new partner who she met on social media. Her new partner told her they worked in the Cryptocurrency industry and had lots of success from investing. After weeks of messages and calls, the online partner convinced the woman to send £70,000, over multiple transactions to invest. She soon realised she had been scammed once her partner cut all ties with them.

Online scammers will try and build up a relationship with people, be that romantic or not.

A 23-year-old man followed an online social media influencer who claimed to be able to double any money you invested with one month. The man engaged with the influencer through private messaging and agreed to send over £5,000. The man discovered the influencers account had been shut down two weeks later and there was no way of contacting them – he wasn’t able to retrieve his funds.

All this can, understandably, be read as quite intimidating but there are steps you can take if you find yourself in a situation where any of these behaviours show up.

• Stop communicating with the person immediately. When you do this, don’t be surprised if the water-works start and the person you’re speaking to starts to lay the guilt on thick. Expect the scammer to feign upset, be heartbroken, ‘why are you doing this?’ blah blah blah. They’ll be trying to make you feel guilty about ‘not helping them in their time of need’ or ’emergency.’
• Talk to someone you trust.
• Speak to your Island bank, the Cyber Security Centre for the Isle of Man or the Isle of Man Constabulary. They’re all working together to bring this safeguarding knowledge and empowerment to the Island community so scammers don’t catch anyone else.

 The main things to remember are:

•            Never send money or gifts to a sweetheart you haven’t met in person.

•            Never allow them access to your bank account.

•            Never transfer money on their behalf.

•            Never take a loan out for them.

•            Never provide copies of your personal documents such as passports or driving licenses.

•            Never invest your own money on their behalf or their advice.

•            Never purchase / send the codes on gift cards from Amazon or iTunes.

•            Never agree to receive or send any parcels on their behalf (such as mobile phones or laptops).

If you or anyone you know has experienced romance fraud or an online scam of any kind, there are people who want to support you.

Cyber Security Centre for the Isle of Man

2nd Floor, Former Lower Douglas Police Station, Fort Street, Douglas, Isle of Man, IM1 2SR. Telephone: General Enquiries: +44 1624 685557 Public Reporting: +44 1624 686060.

The Isle of Man Constabulary

Police Headquarters, Dukes Avenue, Douglas, Isle of Man, IM2 4RG. Telephone: 01624 631212 Email: Police@gov.im

Don’t fall for romance fraud this Valentines Day. It’d be cheaper looking for love in the Outback instead. Chicken kiev-stained jumper or not.