A Love Letter to manx.net

SCENARIO: Imagine you’re on holiday, somewhere nice. Maybe you’re on a beach, cocktail in hand, maybe you’re by a pool. You get chatting to another tourist, who is laid out next to you. They point out your rapidly reddening skin and you tell them that they shouldn’t worry about you: you’re Manx and a deep shade of red is inevitable.

“Mancs? Like, from Manchester?” they say, and you have to explain that you’re Manx- from the Isle of Man. They’re interested: what does the Isle of Man have that’s different to the UK?

You begin to list them off to the eager stranger: its own government, its own postal service, its own type of cat. They nod along, and then ask, “what about its own email provider?”. Get comfy, dear stranger, and learn about the world’s greatest email provider: manx.net. 

Manx.net is the patriot’s email. It says that you don’t want to support massive global providers like Google: you’re committed to shopping, loving and emailing local. It is for the emailer who likes to use their desktop computer to check their emails. The website is frustratingly slow (or, for those who enjoy a slower pace of life, delightfully laid back), possibly because it has been optimised for Internet Explorer 8. It is a website for those who don’t mess about with all the social media nonsense: a one-stop shop for everything you really need the internet for. It is more than an email service provider.

But before we get into the plethora of features on the world’s greatest website, let’s explore manx.net’s truly unique feature: if it goes down, you’ll probably be without access for a week. Bliss. If there’s any urgency- you’ll get a phone call. Enjoy the break from the modern world. It’s probably not a great reflection on their cybersecurity- but if you’re still using manx.net, it’s likely that all your money is living underneath your mattress. 

One of the key features of manx.net is MMTV (not to be confused with MTV). You’ll only find Ex on the Beach if your ex happens to be Manx media legend, Paul Molton. Unfortunately, like all good things, MMTV came to an end in 2020. All that remains is the final goodbye video from Paul: one of the longest goodbyes ever.

Whatever you need, manx.net has you covered. A job? Check the job board. A car? Check out the motor section. A house? You can check the property section, but good luck finding anything. The best bit, however, is the classified section, which may possibly be the most chaotic section of the internet.

I am sure the people at manx.net have strong ethics. I am sure that if I tried to sell something illegal I would be instantly banned. However, there is an energy about the Isle of Man Classifieds that there are no rules. The very fact that people use the website to sell literal animals gives it an intense air of ‘anything goes’. It’s the original dark web. 

Key to understanding classified is knowing that there is a waste not want not is the mentality: manx.net users are avid environmentalists. A classifieds seller would never send anything to the tip- and god knows if there is a quid to be made, it won’t go to the chazza. If you’ve lost a specific button from a specific Marksies shirt from 2003- have a look at classifieds- someone will probably be selling it. I have heard that there was recently a lingerie set for sale on manx.net, probably bought by someone who wanted to treat their partner on a budget. 

If you ever decide to leave manx.net, after hours of perusing used cars and used duvets, you might want to head to a community event. Check the events page: there might be a support group perfect for whatever you’re going through. You might want a night out, but you need to get over your trauma. 

Look, I might sound like I am taking the piss. But I do love manx.net. Specifically I love most about manx.net is how distinctly unmodern it is. It harks back to a simpler time. Log on to manx.net and you’re transported back to a time before things got complicated: Mark Zuckerburg didn’t know everything about us, a pandemic was something from disaster movies, Segways were the future. It is a calm place- existing outside the trolling and anger of the internet. Is it perfect? No. Is it a bit backwards? Maybe. Is it a good representation of our island? Definitely.