I’m a Manx Celebrity…Get Me Out of the Plantation!

With I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here back on our screens this week, the team at Mongoose HQ naturally began asking the big question: what would an Isle of Man version look like?

Forget the Australian jungle, we’re thinking one of our lovely plantations. A few midges, a suspicious rustle in the undergrowth and a compost toilet that hasn’t been cleaned since 1998. Perfect.

Gef, naturally, would have to host. Who else has the charisma, the wit, and the ability to appear from behind a tree at any given moment?

But who would brave the Manx Bushtucker Trials? Here’s our dream line-up of ten local stars.

First up: Little Miss Dynamite

The island’s pub queen would keep camp spirits high, belting out bangers as everyone waits for their boil-in-the-bag rice.

We don’t know how she feels about snakes, but she’s kept half the pubs on the island entertained for decades, so the plantation stands no chance.

Next: Jason Moorhouse MHK

Look, Dr Michelle Haywood’s been through enough this year.

Moorhouse, however, is ready-made reality TV gold. He’d ask the tough questions, fight for his campmates’ rights, and probably negotiate better rations.

Arbory, Castletown and Malew adore him, and that Powerhouse parody account on Twitter (X) would thrive.

Charles Guard

We debated having the island’s answer to David Attenborough as the narrator, but no, we want him in the trenches.

Downside: he’d immediately identify the plantation and escape.

Upside: he’d give everyone an unsolicited history lesson and upload a YouTube video demanding improvements to camp infrastructure, which would immediately see DoI staff start work the following day.

Roberta from McDonald’s

Every reality show now has a TikTok star.

The only risk is McDonald’s collapsing into chaos without her. Maybe them queues on Peel Road may reduce though?

She’d document everything, dance through every trial and give us the island’s most engaging content.

Trevor Cowin

As long as filming avoids Tynwald Day or the lead up to it (112 petitions don’t write themselves), Trevor would be superb.

He’d single-handedly keep camp debates alive. Moorhouse vs Cowin discussing all things government under a tarp in the rain? Peak TV.

John ‘Watty’ Watterson MBE

Media Isle of Man’s sports encyclopaedia would know exactly where the camp is, which plantation, and which bike track they’re beside.

He’d still somehow keep track of every sporting event happening across the island. Early strong contender for King of the Plantation, given his love of the Tour de France.

Percy Hampton

Pure chaos. Pure entertainment. Viewers would lap it up. The mullet alone deserves its own star billing.

Mike Wade (Black Dog Oven)

Feed the camp. Feed the nation. Half the Bushtucker Trials would reappear as limited-edition pizzas within weeks. Him and Watty chatting over a brew about Peel? Emotional TV.

Dot Tilbury MBE

The island’s morale officer. She’d rally the camp, retell Cav’s childhood adventures and narrate half the series without even realising.

Frank Schuengel

Drone shots. Positivity. Civic pride. The only issue?

Frank would miss everything happening on the island while he’s in camp, from cake sales to council meetings (he missed them anyway!), to random beach rescues.

How DOES he get everywhere?

And there you have it.

The ultimate Manx jungle. Who have we forgotted? If there’s some glaring misses we can do a follow up! Let us know: hello@gef.im.

ITV: your move!