What Pride Means To Me: Gemma & Zoe

During pride, we reflect a lot on the struggle that the Manx LGBTQ+ community have gone through to live openly on the island. It’s been less than 30 years since homosexual acts were legalised, and only six years since gay marriage was legalised. While it is vital to remember how we got to this point, it’s also key to remember that being a member of the LGBTQ+ can bring great joy.

Wives and business partners Gemma Wasley and Zoe Guilford are the perfect example of this. They have been together for eight years, however, have been lifelong friends since primary school on the island. On the coach on Gemma’s first day at the school, aged 10, Zoe introduced herself to the new girl and told her if she needed anything, just to let her know. 

Zoe and Gemma were in the same friendship groups throughout high school. They both left the island to go to different universities, catching up when they found themselves in the same city. Zoe spent 15 years in London, while Gemma moved between Liverpool, Manchester and then Sydney.

Both women returned to the island, coincidentally, during the same month of the same year- a coincidence they describe as ‘totally meant to be’. They reignited their friendship, which turned into a romantic relationship a few years later. 

Fast-tracking their relationship once they realised how serious they felt about each other, Zoe asked Gemma to marry her in Rome in 2016. Two years later, they wed in front of 50 of their friends and family members in Savannah, Georgia. This year, they’ve fulfilled their dream to have a child together, undergoing IVF last summer and having a baby boy last month.

This month’s Pride celebrations have highlighted the spirit of change in the island and the girls are thrilled that times are so different to when they were at school. ‘We knew no one gay back then,’ says Zoe, ‘in fact, I didn’t hang out with anyone gay the whole time I was in London either. Though looking back there were certainly signs, I was in total denial and just thought I hadn’t met the right man.’

Having come out as gay while living in Liverpool, aged 21, Gemma said that living in a city allowed her to be herself as ‘being gay in the Isle of Man didn’t really seem like an option in the 90s.’

The girls ascertain that they have no regrets about getting together during this stage of their lives. Gemma says ‘You really know yourself when you reach your 40s, and I don’t think we could have made it work between us any earlier.’ They’ve packed a lot into their seven years together, travelling extensively and dedicating a lot of time to each other.

The couple are happy to say that they’ve never had to deal with any homophobia or negativity as a result of their relationship. ‘The Isle of Man has done us proud’ Zoe says, ‘being gay has never disadvantaged us. In fact, we rarely think about it, and we don’t think anyone else really does either.’

Gemma and Zoe have also stayed busy when it comes to their work lives, joining their respective skills to start a number of businesses over the last few years. They both believe that being married and working together is the best. ‘We’re loving our lifestyle on the island and we are so happy we’ve made the decision to stay’ says Zoe. ‘We’ve been very lucky to find each other and we wish the same happiness to others’, Gemma adds, ‘the Isle of Man has been a revelation in providing the perfect home for us and we want our story to show people that it’s never too late to be happy, successful and settled.’