Government Says Wear a Coat This Winter

In a groundbreaking announcement that has left the Isle of Man reeling, government has issued winter safety advice reminding residents to do something truly radical, dress warm.

Yes, as temperatures threaten to dip, officials have urged the public to embrace the chill by layering up, wearing gloves and, brace yourselves,  investing in a good coat.

According to the advice on Facebook, staying warm ‘isn’t just about comfort, it’s about staying safe’, a revelation that will come as news to absolutely no one who has stood at Lord Street bus stop in January.

The guidance from gov explains how clothing works, advising residents to start with a base layer, add insulation, and finish with a windproof outer layer.

Those seeking even more cutting-edge advice are encouraged to visit the official Winter Ready webpage, where further tips are expected, including ‘close the door behind you’, ‘turn the heating on if you’re cold’ and ‘check both ways before crossing’.

At press time, government had not ruled out future seasonal guidance reminding residents that umbrellas are useful when it rains and sun cream works best in the sun.