Where There’s A Will There’s A Wake

As host Kathy Burke says: ‘We’ve got podcasts coming out of earholes – literally.’

Her podcast, where she asks guests everything from ‘how do you want to die?’ to ‘what do you think happens when you’re dead?’ certainly seems an unlikely source of comedy.

Her latest guest is presenter Nick Grimshaw aka Grimmy. After a few minutes of introductions and pleasantries, the chat quickly takes on a more deathly tone.

Grimmy decides he’d like to have a funny or dramatic death rather than just die quietly in his sleep. After debating the merits of being eaten by a shark he settles on death by hippo.

‘The final few days on safari would be really nice,’ he reasons.

For his obituary Grimmy says he’d like to appear on the front cover of weekly magazine Take A Break  with the headline ‘Hungry hungry hippo eats Nick Grimshaw’.

And he wants to jostle for position with other stories like ‘I’m addicted to Creme Eggs’.

‘I’d quite like to be among the other mad stories,’ he says. ‘I always think: “Are they real or is someone just making them up?’

The chat then turns a bit more serious when he’s asked how the public would feel about his death. ‘I don’t think they will be that bothered,’ he admits.

Asked if he has any regrets, he says ‘things happen for a reason’. But he goes on to say that he wasn’t very nice to himself in his teens and early 20s. ‘I genuinely don’t think I had a glass of water or did any exercise until I was 28,’ he says.

Talk then turns to the funeral arrangements. ‘Get your shovel Kathy,’ he says as he explains he wants to be buried. He adds that he wants everyone to be ‘quite sad’ and dressed in black. ‘Make the effort,’ he says.

He takes things a bit further when he decides on mummification, something he was obsessed with as a child. Grimmy then gets to hear his friend Amy give her take on the eulogy. ‘He often said he wanted his funeral to be like his bathroom tiles – all black, dramatic and over-priced,’ she says. ‘And looking around I’d say he’d be proud.’

She also thanks Madonna for performing Take A Bow. Tears should all be shed in time for the wake, where Grimmy wants his family and friends to spend hours having a laugh and having a good time in an Irish pub.
‘Now it’s party time,’ he said.

The podcast twists again with Kathy’s next question: ‘What do you think happens when you’re dead?’ ‘I do think you’re just dead,’ he says. ‘Heaven would be packed by now and hell would be even more rammed.’

He then gets the choice of reincarnation. ‘I’d quite like to be someone’s pet dog,’ he says first. ‘I think you will have a nice time.’

But then he settles on pop star Grace Jones. ‘She’s pretty fierce, confident, truly in herself, artistic and talented.’

The tone of the conversation changes from dark to light several times over 40 minutes. I just didn’t find it very funny. For me, it’s a podcast too far.