MHKs To Set Sail – What Could Go Wrong?
Some say this administration has been a sinking ship, well, we’re about to find out if that’s literally true as members of the House of Keys swap the chamber for choppy waters in this weekend’s World Championship Viking Longboat Races in Peel.
Yes, on Saturday, an intrepid crew of MHKs including Rob Callister, Chris Thomas, Tim Crookall, Claire Christian, Dr Alex Allinson, Clare Barber, Daphne Caine, and Michelle Haywood will be taking to the high seas (well, Peel Bay) in a test of paddling, perseverance, and pure political panic.
Sources understand the government entry has been aptly named ‘There is a Vote in the Morning’. Tragically that’s not true, we have to wait until next year.
The MHKs promise this will be a ‘hands-on’ effort — a bold change from their usual ‘arms-length approach’.
Let’s hope their paddles move faster than government decision making.
Michelle Haywood, the team’s unofficial navigator, was last seen nervously eyeing the new ’20mph’ sign at the end of Peel Breakwater.
She told Gef: ‘I don’t even drive over 20mph. Now I’ve got to row into a headwind with Callister shouting portside commands like he’s Captain Birdseye?’
Meanwhile, Chris Thomas is said to be drafting an urgent policy paper on the fiscal implications of soggy socks, and Dr Allinson has asked if rowing counts as an NHS-approved cardiovascular activity.
Team morale is reportedly high, though the crew did request that Treasury Minister Dr Al be banned from shouting ‘efficiency savings’ every time they drop an oar.
Peel RNLI, meanwhile, has been placed on light alert, just in case the longboat is last spotted drifting toward Northern Ireland with Tim Crookall yelling ‘this isn’t even my portfolio!’. Well what is Tim?
Godspeed, Tynwald. Just remember: don’t rock the boat, or do, for comedy value.
