Dress in Yellow Day 2023

Friday is Dress in Yellow Day, with people and businesses encouraged to wear yellow to raise funds for Victim Support.

Victim Support Isle of Man is an independent organisation supporting victims of crime.

Ahead of Friday, we’ve done a Q&A with Kelly Lean and one of the many people the charity helps to outline how vital their services are.

You can get involved by going to www.victimsupport.im.

Briefly explain the situation

I was only 10 years of age. I did not know what the abuser was doing to me was wrong until a couple of years later. I think I was 13years of age when I knew what the abuser was doing to me wrong.

How did you know the offender?

My abuser was in a position of trust.

If you could  ask your abuser one question, what would it be?

Why me!

What were your thoughts at the times that you were abused.

I was scared/frightened. I didn’t know why the abuser was doing it to me, I started drinking at a young age and became so paranoid that I thought everyone knew what the abuser was doing to me.  I have suffered from anxiety ever since.

How did family and friends react?.

I never told anyone, even now I find it so difficult to talk about my abuse in detail.

I still have not recovered from the abuse that happened to me. It has affected my life and there is not a day that I don’t remember what happened to me.  Having to deal with it on a daily basis made me carry on drinking and I am now on daily medication to help me get through each day.  I would not wish what happened to me to happen to anyone else.  I hope my story albeit very brief will let other children/adults that are or have been in my position realise that “IT’S NOT OKAY”

Who am I
HI my name is Kelly and I work as an independent sexual violence advisor at victim support or ISVA for short

What is an ISVA?
I provide specialist tailored support to victims and survivors of sexual violence irrespective of whether they have reported to the police. The type of support that we can provide will vary from case to case. It depends on the
needs of the individual and their situation. We provide impartial information to the victim/survivor about all of their options.

This could be reporting to the police, accessing (SARC) services, and specialist support such as sexual violence counselling. ISVAs also provide information on other services that survivors may require, for example health and social care, housing, or benefits. The benefit of this role is to provide ongoing continuity, advocacy and impartial advice and information to a victim/survivor of sexual violence.

What support do you offer?

We provide emotional support, we understand the impact Sexual Violence can have on an individual and family. We provide support for police interviews, court updates and supporting them when they need to go to court.
This support can be provided at any time

What are some of the common myths of sexual assault?

1) Why doesn’t an individual fight back or shout?
Everyone responds differently but the most common response is to freeze or even submit to the
sexual assault due to fear of further harm or death, it can take a while for our brain to process
what is happening so we go into survival mode.
2) Sexual assault is provoked by the victim’s actions, behaviors, or by the way they dress.
Sexual assault is NEVER the victim’s fault.  Sexual assault is a violent attack on an individual,
not a spontaneous crime of sexual passion.  For a victim, it is a humiliating and degrading act.
No one “asks” for or caused their assailant to commit a crime against them.
3) Most rapes are done by strangers.
The majority of sexual assaults are by people we know.

How can you help?

You can call 679950 to book an appointment. No referral is needed and no explanation is required when you book the appointment.