Mystic Chess Horoscopes 13/12

AQUARIUS (JAN 20 – FEB 18) 

Don’t dwell on old mistakes. Dwell on the mistakes you’ll make at the Christmas party.  

PISCES (FEB 19- MAR 20) 

When something in life gets difficult, it’s easy to give up. Make life easy for yourself.

ARIES (MAR 21- APR 19) 

Ever wanted to snog your boss? The Christmas party is the perfect time to cause a headache for HR. 

TAURUS (APR 20- MAY 20) 

Slut-dropping is always a crowd pleaser at a Christmas party 

GEMINI (MAY 21- JUN 21) 

Filming other people’s mistakes during a Christmas party is morally wrong, but it could make very good blackmail material (also wrong).

CANCER (JUN 22 – JUL  22) 

Need therapy? Choose the cheaper option of getting very drunk at the Christmas party and telling the intern your life story. 

LEO (JUL 23 – AUG 22)

If you hear that your Christmas party has been cancelled: it hasn’t been. You’ve just been uninvited. 

VIRGO (AUG 23- SEPT 22) 

STAY IN YOUR LANE.

LIBRA (SEPT 23- OCT 22) 

Remember the true meaning of Black Eye Friday by getting absolutely bladdered.

SCORPIO (OCT 23-NOV 22) 

Feeling like you’ve had a lot of disappointment recently? Just wait until Christmas. 

SAGITTARIUS (NOV 23 – DEC 21) 

Perhaps it’s time to give up and give in and start wearing crocs. 

CAPRICORN  (DEC 22- JAN 19) 

No one knows that your ugly Christmas jumper is ironic if you dress in ugly clothes all the time.